In His Presence

Vs.

Imagine playing basketball at the age you are now with the first hoop pictured above^

Walking right up to it, you can literally drop the basketball into the hoop always ending up with a perfect score.

Imagine playing basketball with the second hoop pictured above^

Even if you toss the ball from right next to it, you could still miss the goal. Back up and toss it like in the picture, you are even more likely to miss.

Upgrade to a professional hoop in a professional court and toss from halfway across the gym–you are even MORE likely to miss.

This illustration goes for any sport. The closer to the goal, the more likely you will make the goal.

It’s the same with being close to God. The more distance you place between you and your relationship with God, the more likely you are to make a mistake or fall into sin. The more you press into God’s presence, the more likely you are to be not only in His will but also less likely to go astray. Think about it….Jesus in His time on Earth PRESSED into His Father God’s presence every chance He got. And guess what? He never sinned.

Now of course, we have all fallen short. We cannot live the perfect life Jesus lived. However, the more we press into God and into His presence, the more likely we are to stay in His will for our lives. We are His children. Just as a parent holds onto his child so they don’t run off into traffic, You’re Heavenly Father upholds you with His righteousness right hand keeping you from going astray.

Our job is simply to press into His presence.

It is God’s job to keep us from wandering just as it’s a parent’s job to keep his own child from wandering off.

May this truth help you to breathe peacefully today. Rest assured God has ahold of you. Press into Him.

He loves you!!!!

Maybe you’ve kept your distance for some time now. Maybe you’ve been busy with this or that. Be still. Just rest in His presence today. His arms are open wide.

Thank you so much to those that have lifted me up in prayer these past few blogs! God is soo good y’all!!

I tend to distance myself when I make a mistake, but that was the enemy causing me to hide just as Adam and Eve hid.

Continue to pray that I will press into God’s presence. Mary knew in the Bible that His presence was most important. Let us both take note of this truth.

I’m still praying for you too!! I pray that you will rest in the Lord sometime today amidst the business of work, family, screaming children, chores, or daily tasks. God’s got you!

Father God,

Thank You so much for Your presence. May we each remember how important spending time at Your feet truly is. May we be reminded of our value through the blood of Jesus Christ in Your eyes. We are broken, but through the blood of Jesus Christ we are valuable as if glued together with gold. We are precious in Your sight. May we remember that Your presence is our prize. May Your glory and testimony shine through our brokenness.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Pursuing God’s Heart

Disclaimer: Trigger Warning.

If this post triggers you in anyway please please reach out to someone.

Most importantly: Stay Alive.

The verse above is INTENSE. I’m a living breathing testimony of how true this verse is. We are constantly told from all around us to, “follow your heart.” That’s honestly the worst advice..

I would be dead by my own hands if I had done just that in totality.

So what do we do?

Turn to God.

During my darkest moments if I had succumbed to my heart, I would have taken my life. I’m just telling you how it was during my darkest moments. No sugar coating. In all honesty the devil still attacks me, but I now know I can press into Jesus.

In my own understanding, I reach mental breakdowns…emotional breakdowns…my heart believes it’s the end. But I KNOW. I KNOW. I cannot lean on the circumstances around me. I must lean on Jesus. Through KNOWING Him. Through a relationship with Him.

Not just knowledge of who He is…

But leaning into His presence I will have victory through Jesus in every situation I face.

Just two days ago the devil was throwing fiery darts at me of my past mistakes. I mean he was full on attacking. Honestly, I think he was angry I had stood up verbally to him the day before (haha). Anyway, I could have followed my heart and gave into falling from his attacks.

Instead…I arose from my seat and chose to spend time with Jesus. My heart wasn’t in the best shape. I didn’t clean and tidy up everything before I approached the throne of Jesus. I chose to just get up and sit at His feet immediately as Mary had in the Bible.

The result?

Probably one of the best moments I’ve had with Jesus in awhile. His love was so overwhelming and His victory in my situation helped me to sleep peacefully.

God is SO GOOD y’all!!!

The moral of this story is…

Don’t go spend time with Jesus to see what you can get out of it: direction on where to go next or what to do next.

Go to Jesus because you just want to know His heart more. Because you just want to truly know your Heavenly Father’s heart.

The rest will come later.

His Holy Spirit reveals to us what we need to know now. Don’t rush His will for your life. Be still. Just rest in Him and in His presence.

Please keep me in your prayers. I’ve noticed that as scars come up in my heart, I’m easily irritable. I apologize if I was irritable to you personally. I’m in the refining process. Pray that I will continue to press into Jesus during this time. And hand Him all the emotions I face.

I’m praying for you too. Press into Jesus and your Heavenly Father. God loves you unconditionally. The only time God is found in a hurry is when He is running towards the prodigal son who is returning to Him to shower Him in His love and mercy. ❤️

Jesus First

This past week has been a mountain climb.

One of my prayers the past few months has been for friendships centered in Christ and little did I know that transitioning churches would lead to the beginning of an answer to this prayer. Sisters in Christ from the Church I was led to leave actually reaching out. I love y’all. We are still family even when I’m not there every week!

A more recent prayer I’ve been praying though is for God to show me my heart.

This weekend God showed me that my priorities have been backwards. I cannot be a true friend or leader if I place friends/people before God.

Even Jesus had to step away from the crowd and spend time with The Father. He even stepped away from His own family and was found at His Fathers house.

If even Jesus needs Father Son time…I definitely need it.

My deepest heart’s desire is to be there for people 24/7, but God revealed to me that I’m NOT God. ONLY God can be there for you 24/7. If I suddenly stop messaging you, it’s not because of anything you said or did…I just need Jesus time and time with Father God. I can no longer sacrifice time with God to try to take His place in your life.

Jesus needs to be first in my life and yours. I cannot save anyone…but my God can through Jesus Christ.

Ahhh my favorite song just came on!

Reckless Love by Cory Asbury..

I can dance with Jesus all day to this song.

If you need a friend today…listen to this song. God’s love for you never fails even when mine does. ❤️

Show Me My Heart

Awhile back I received this randomly in a package I ordered. I’ve thought about the verse on and off, but today during service this exact verse was referenced.

He spoke about us praying a dangerous prayer, “God, show me my heart.”

Oftentimes I focus on the outside of everything I’m doing wrong. When someone asks a tough question that shouldn’t be so tough to answer like, “How would you define a true friend?” I shut down. (Which actually this question was asked in general inside of a group which I reluctantly chose not to answer). Instead I’ll distract myself with games on my phone or whatever and put on a charade that everything is great.

However, deep down there’s something bubbling under the surface. You cannot hold something with air in it underwater for long before it comes rushing to the surface. The Pastor gave the example of a beach ball. I remember when I was younger trying to hold it down with my hands then it would come rushing up and hitting in the face. There were smaller ones I’d push way down and try to hold down with my feet…but soon I’d fall over and it would re-surface.

If we don’t face the deep issues now, we will cause ourselves more pain. Not only that, but could cause others pain too unintentionally.

In college, I tried so hard at working on friendships trying to be a true friend to others. Long story short, I got hurt a lot. Many friendships I thought would be lifelong ended abruptly causing heartache and pain. Not being able to drive a car didn’t help things in any way. Now that I can drive, I’ve started to attempt building friendships again. It’s a lot of work especially for someone like me who overthinks every single thing…such as why hasn’t so and so replied? It’s been a week now.

I find myself staying off to the side instead of going up to people, because of the fear that a friendship will not last. But was I called to avoid potential heart ache? No.

God is with us every single step of the way. We will get hurt. No one we meet along this journey of life will be perfect. It’s worth it though.

Please pray for me that I will allow God to show me my heart deep under the surface and that I will respond with what He shows according to His word. Also pray that I will become a better friend. I need my brothers and sisters alongside me in this. I will be praying for you all as well.

What if we are the only ones to speak life into their lives when they deep down are in a dark place?

What if we are the only ones that tell them about the hope they can find in the name of Jesus?

What if our testimony of freedom from addiction is the only thing that shows them hope that they can find freedom too?

What if our smile, greeting, and asking about their life is what keeps them from choosing to end their life that night?

What if we were not meant to stay in our safe little corner, but were meant to love others no matter the cost so that the enemy…that prowling lion doesn’t trip us up and devour us?

What if together, we can stand in the name of Jesus against the devil? Alone we can easily be led astray but, …two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 KJV)

Praise Upon the Mountain

What if I were to tell you the very thing meant to destroy you is what will raise you up?

Those giants that you feel are destroying you…with a little change of perspective could very well raise you up.

Mountains are formed by the ground colliding up underneath it.

The birds survive the storm by flying up above the clouds.

You were meant to rise up, sisters and brothers, upon the shoulders of Jesus Christ. He loves you so tenderly. Don’t allow the storms of this life to break you down to death…

Maybe your light has busted from so much brokenness. I’m here to bring you hope, brothers and sisters, that on our own we cannot shine the light. It will get busted. However, Jesus steps in and shines through our brokenness. We are broken vessels designed to shine the Lord’s light in a dark world. It’s okay to be broken, but run to Jesus and allow Him to lift you up upon His shoulders above the noise.

Last night, I went to City On a Hill’s worship/prayer night. I’ll admit that the first week I wasn’t able to break out of my shell. Yesterday, however, the Holy Spirit spoke to me in a personal way through the worship music. Suddenly, I couldn’t allow my giants/chains to hold me down- God has given me the word to ARISE. I had such a powerful intimate time with the Lord just praising His great name. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You.

Arise, brothers and sisters, and praise the name of Jesus. It’s one of the greatest weapons we have. We are powerless on our own-but through the name of Jesus chains are broken! Prisoners set free!

Take the Lord’s hand and dance with Him. Without those scars upon His hand we wouldn’t know how much He loves us. Allow Him to lift you up upon His shoulders upon the mountain top. Praise His wonderful name.

Thank You, Jesus.

Children of God

When we start stepping towards God’s will for our lives-the enemy will do everything he can to keep us distracted, busy, and overwhelmed. As I’m moving into this new season in my life, that’s exactly how the enemy has been attacking me.

  • Games on my phone are a perfect example of distraction. I get excited when I win a level–but do these games bring anything to God’s kingdom? When I get to Heaven, is God going to pat me on the back for making it past level 500 on a game? No. In and of themselves, they aren’t bad. However, they can become bad if they keep us distracted from God’s will in our lives.
  • In the process of transitioning Churches I have been feeling Busy/Overwhelmed. I’ve had to say no a couple times to building a friendship, because of feeling so drained. This transition won’t take forever, but then I’ll be busy with the cotton candy business my family runs once festivals start up. There’s always something in today’s time that keeps us busy. Work, daily tasks/chores, etc. we can become wrapped up in them to where we become overwhelmed and we just want to crash in bed when we finally have a moment. Thankfully, God is the author of time. We may be busy…may even be overwhelmed…but we can never be too busy to sit at the feet of Jesus. We can make time for the things that are truly important in our lives–for example: our family, spending time with Jesus, and dreams God’s placed in our hearts.

I read this above^ in my devotional today and it really tugged at my heart strings. I currently have 3 “in progress” books I’m writing and 1 God laid on my heart a couple years back that I have yet to really start. “It’s better to have one completed book affecting lives than three unfinished books helping no one.” That sentence could not have spoken any more clear to where I’m at. I plan to finish the three books, but I need to start and finish the one God laid on my heart in hope that it truly will help at least one person. It’s way better than not having any published which helps absolutely no one.

Though I feel overwhelmed with everything I need to accomplish already, writing this one book will need to become a priority for me. Time to set my phone down and pick up a pen.

Please be praying for me in writing this book. I need all the prayer and encouragement that I can get. ❤️

We are all children of God once we believe in Jesus. Begin to think on what God may be calling you to do in this season whether it’s writing a book or a song…or maybe changing your job or spending more time with your family…examine the things you do now. Are they simply distractions like the games I play? There is so much more for you. You are a child of God. You are called to leave your mark on this world and to point others towards Jesus.

Be the light!

Arise, and Go to the City

It’s time I tell you all a story filled of God’s goodness-one that has had my emotions in every direction of excitement, anxiousness, and bursting out in tears.

Brace yourself, because this blog entry is about a journey that will most likely take more than 5 minutes to read.

About a month ago, I was flipping pages in my Bible when I stumbled and stopped upon a verse that said, “Arise, and go.” I immediately prayed for more clarification, because I had no idea where to go-where to even begin to go.. I flipped to another page and these words jumped off the page and came to life to me: “Arise, and go to the city.” Still unsure exactly what city God was talking about I drove downtown to my own city. I walked up and down the Main Street of my city, but found nothing. Stumped, I reached out to “Steadfastness” (referred to in a past entry as one of my mentors from college). She suggested that maybe God was leading me to a church called “City on a Hill”. There are many churches with this name around the world, but it definitely narrowed things down a bit further. During my time at a residential ministry-Mercy Multiplied-God had spoke through a Pastor who told me he saw this vision of me worshipping and praising God on top of a hill. I thought maybe this was it. I decided to google the name and see if there were any close by me and I stumbled upon one about 30 minutes away from me.

I clicked onto the website and listened to a random sermon. The sermon spoke to my core and I was immediately pulled towards this church. I clicked over to see who the Pastor was for the church and it just so happened to be one of my teachers from my high school years! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Intrigued further, I clicked to the about section and discovered that they had only just opened their doors mid-September. I decided, I needed to take a leap of faith and visit this church to see if this was where God was leading. Mind you-I put this off a week or two from stubbornness-but I did finally go.

Full of anxiety, I parked my car outside the doors. I would be walking into a church where I knew absolutely no one besides the Pastor who had been one of my teachers so many years ago. I may remember him, but what would be the chances of him remembering me? I calmed myself and gathered my composure to get out of my car. Did I mention I arrived 30 minutes early? Not awkward at all…

Upon walking inside, I was instantly greeted. I was handed a pamphlet about that day’s sermon and upcoming activities. I shared with him the short version of what led me there and he asked me if I would like a short tour since I arrived so early and I said sure. He briefly showed me the two children classrooms they already have and then walked me by the Sanctuary. I was instantly humbled when I saw what was happening inside the sanctuary. He informed me that they had a team that prays every Sunday before the service over the service. It was humbling to see so many praying to the Lord over everyone that would soon walk inside.

Of course, I then had to go to the restroom. Anxiety gets the best of me in new situations. He lightheartedly laughed and showed me where they were.

I looked at what the sermon was going to be about while I was in there and grunted to myself when I saw it was about tithes. Honestly, I kinda rolled my eyes. I didn’t understand why God would lead me here to hear this sermon when I already tithe. It would just be the same sermon I’ve already heard a thousand times. I must have misunderstood God’s direction surely…

I walked over to a woman who instantly greeted me as well. She wanted to hear about what brought me to their church so I shared with her the story. She was excited and we spoke for a few minutes. She introduced me to a few people and two different people asked me about my story. Word had traveled quickly of what had led me there and they wanted to know the details. I excitedly shared the details and then it was time to go into the sanctuary. I was invited to sit with a girl and her family. I accepted her invitation.

Worship was nothing short of God’s desire to be right in the room with us. I hadn’t felt that intimate with God during worship in awhile. I still remember the three main points of the sermon without even consulting my notes from a month ago. He used the acronym ATM and stressed that tithing isn’t just simply about giving 10% of our income (that’s the M in ATM). However, it’s even more-so about giving of our Abilities and Time (the A and T). We have so much we can do to serve one another, but often it gets hindered. Some of us even hide things such as singing and writing that could potentially be an amazing blessing upon someone. This sermon on Tithing wasn’t like any I had heard in the past and that alone was humbling in and of itself.

Afterwards, I spoke with the Pastor briefly who actually remembered me from all those years ago. There was Growth Track One of lunch with the Pastor if we wanted to take that first step into becoming part of the church. I had thought about it, but I also thought back to my church I already called home. Calvary Baptist Church was my home and my comfort. I write the cards for anniversaries and birthdays there and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a different church. In the past before Calvary, I had church hopped around so much do to offense and emotions and that was the last thing I wanted to do now. I had finally discovered a firm true foundation in God’s Word at Calvary. Though a silly lighthearted example, I was choosing to stay in my comfortable box instead of the best God was leading me to…just as my friends cat chooses to lay in this box:

I’m comfortable at Calvary, God. You surely wouldn’t lead me out of my comfort zone. Surely not..

I went back to my normal routine and back to Calvary. It was around Christmas time so I started receiving gifts from my brothers and sisters in Christ at Calvary. This only made my box more comfortable and made me want to leave it even less. Friends there that had never truly reached out to hang with me before-were suddenly wanting to hang out. Excited and dismissing City on a Hill as just a fluke I made my box more comfortable. A journal I received from the Pastor’s daughter titled, “Trust in the Lord” was given to me for Christmas and deep down I knew what that meant for me personally but stubbornly I didn’t want to leave Calvary.

If it had not been for Calvary, I honestly would have never gone through a residential program called Mercy Multiplied and I truly wouldn’t be here today. I just know deep down I would have taken my own life if it hadn’t been for my brothers and sisters at Calvary. So stubbornly, I just tidied my box up and kept on with my life. God had ultimately saved my life through the people of Calvary so surely He wouldn’t lead me away from there?

Just last week my friend who I referred to as “Encouragement” a few blogs ago reached out to me. She informed me that she felt God was leading her out of her church back to a church to be a worship leader with the word “city” in it. If I had been drinking water as she told me this I honestly probably would have spit it everywhere when she said this. I immediately informed her again about City on the Hill God had been leading me to. Long story short, we decided we would both “Arise, and go to the city” this past Sunday.

That morning before going I stumbled upon this and shared it with “Encouragement” to be an encouragement to us both:

Little did I know-God would remind me of this by saying the exact same words out of the Pastor’s mouth during his sermon at City on a Hill.

As soon as I made the decision to go to City on a Hill, a friend from Calvary reached out to me and asked if I wanted to hang out after church on Sunday. Torn once again, I didn’t know what to do. I told her we could hang out after the church I was visiting and she agreed.

I arrived at City on a Hill again Sunday full of nerves. This time I was only 15 minutes early though. I was instantly greeted once again at the doors and handed a pamphlet about 21 days of prayer and fasting. I slipped it into my Bible cover and headed to the restroom. Ever since I decided to return to City on a Hill I had been praying for confirmation in God’s leading and I prayed again before the service. I found a seat away from everyone (but not in the back) so that I could fill out a connection card before the service began. I didn’t get to fill it out the first time because the service had already started when I found out about them.

I had only written down my name when the worship leader approached me. She excitedly came up and wanted to know what had brought me to City on a Hill. I told her the short story and she was instantly excited wanting to add me on Facebook. Already having had written my name I just showed her and she found me rather quickly. She then had to rush off to get ready for worship. Little did she know that my friend at another church was being tugged at her heart strings to become a worship leader herself. To all the worship leaders out there—the worship leader is the one who intentionally approached and greeted me on my second visit to City on a Hill. You can make a difference-you do make a difference.

On the bottom of the card I put my prayer request that I was feeling led to leave my comfort zone and possibly transition to this church-mind you I wrote this BEFORE the sermon.

The sermon was about praying outside of our box. Do you follow Jesus or are you asking Jesus to follow you? Are you asking Jesus to bless your box-your work, family, and church-or asking Him if He’s leading you outside of your box? The sermon was focused on the story in Genesis where Abram prayed and was led to go to the land God promised. He didn’t know what land that was just as initially I didn’t know what city God meant. He had to make so many sacrifices leaving everything he knew to what God was promising.

Are you settling for good instead of going after God’s best for you?! Sometimes it’s not about good and bad, but good and best.

Still stuck in my stubbornness after all the confirmation God was already giving me I just continued to listen. He went on to say- what if Abram has never listened? What if Moses hadn’t? What if Noah hadn’t? Peter? Esther? David? Paul? Maybe following Jesus isn’t just about us… but what might OTHERS be missing out on if we don’t follow Jesus dropping our nets immediately?

Floored by this message I knew I had to go to lunch with the Pastor afterwards because it just so happened I had come back again on a Sunday where they were back on Growth track 1 that I had missed out on the first time. I went into the room and chose to sit at the third table that had two girls there so far my age or younger. I was informed the one actually lives in the same city I do, and the other lives right in the area I grew up in-a coincidence-I think not!

I won’t go into details of all those that sat at my table but let me tell you-God is doing a mighty work and bringing people from every walk to this church! I will tell you that the guy who ended sitting next to me shared a story about how he had been to state prison and if it hand not been for a prison ministry led by people from City on a Hill-he would have most likely never turned his life around. The reason his story in particular striked me is because in college a guy at church randomly approached me and said he saw this vision of me walking down a dark hallway up to a cage/cell and letting this dog out and hugging him. I’ve always wondered if this meant some kind of prison ministry-I don’t think it was a coincidence that he sat next to me Sunday. Already convinced, God just continued to confirm His leading through that growth track in what the church was all about-beliefs and core values. Every last bit that was said. What sealed it for me was when the Pastor humbly informed everyone where he stood on marriage-how no matter how much the methods may change with technology-the message never will even when our society’s message does. He stands on what God’s Word says about any issue including marriage. I won’t tell you what that is unless you ask or just read the Bible yourself. The answers are all there.

This wasn’t the end though. I hung out with my friend from Calvary after and I will be honest that it was awkward mainly because I didn’t want to tell her God was leading me to another church. Forgive me, friend, for the awkwardness!

Soon after, we went to Calvary’s night service. I was nervous I would feel uncertain again after the sermon, but it ended up being about following Jesus no matter the sacrifice. This was only more confirmation to what I already knew in my Spirit. He quoted the verse in Matthew that says, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” He noted that unless we follow Jesus no matter the sacrifice, we won’t become fishers of men. More confirmation. Afterwards, I asked the Pastor’s wife if she wouldn’t mind if I could speak with her and the Pastor. She said yes, and so I waited around. She had handed me a late Christmas gift which I didn’t want to open more-so because I could just see me bursting into tears. While standing there she told me she had a new address for me to add to the list for the cards I write. I smiled slightly as she sent it to me not knowing what I was about to inform her with.

Eventually, everyone had left the building and it was literally just them and I. We sat down at a table and I spilled a shorter version of the story of God’s leading. Expecting friction of questions like, “Are you sure” and so forth I received the opposite. The Pastor said he wanted me to follow where I believed the Lord was leading me even if that was outside of Calvary. Humbled, I reminded them that I do the cards for the church and that I would finish that out first before officially transitioning. I still plan to visit Calvary too, because they are still like a second family to me.

As I got into my car and they pulled away, I instantly started bawling. I shouted out, “God, I don’t want to leave! Why are you calling me to leave? Why me? I don’t want to! I don’t want to!” Honestly, thinking back now, I’m on the verge of tears again. I was able to compose myself enough to leave the parking lot but I wasn’t a block down the road before more tears started to flow. You see…I’m always praying that God will give me a godly sorrow, because pride gets the best of me way too much at times. He was answering that prayer as I reflected on hidden gems through the day that God revealed to me. He was in every single detail. I opened up my present and there was another journal- “For God so loved the world…” and guess what?! There were hills pictures all over the journal. Here is a picture of both journals:

God is soo good. Soo good. Never doubt His goodness. If you sense in your spirit God leading you outside of your comfort zone, take a step out in faith. I promise you…you will not be disappointed. God may break you in the process-but it is SO WORTH IT. God is good…all the time.

Brothers & Sisters Alongside One Another

We are in the midst of a spiritual warfare and we absolutely cannot win in and of our own strength.

Separating from the world while not pressing unto Jesus saying, “I got this!” We will inevitably fall. I know I have. More than once.

First and foremost we need to be in prayer without ceasing. When we wake up in the morning and everything seems fine…we need to pray. At any moment that dart of fire could be flying towards us. If we have already pressed unto Jesus…

I need You, Jesus…

Then those darts will be caught and washed away.

Still we cannot do this alone.

We need our brothers and sisters fighting/praying alongside us too. After my last blog where I asked for prayer…I could feel a shield around me. I had a dream where I was alongside a brother fighting off demonic activity around us. It was intense!!! Upon waking up it was made clear for me…anyone in your life leading to your fall out…the war is not against them.

This war is not against flesh and blood but the spiritual forces all around us.

If someone your with is leading you into dark places it may not be the best to try fighting the spiritual forces around them on your own. You may fall flat on your face… but on your knees in prayer you can do so much more… because our God is bigger. He can defeat any enemy or foe around. Don’t depend on your own strength…press unto Jesus. Trust in His strength.

Personally, I’m going to have to separate myself from this person and press unto the Lord… no matter how much I want to be their savior…Only Jesus can be anyone’s Savior. Consult Jesus in any situation you find yourself in.

We need each other fighting alongside one another. Pray for your own situation, but also pray for all those around you. There is a raging war going on! Don’t let your guard down. Listen to the gentle whispers from the Holy Spirit. Don’t be stubborn like I’ve been trying to fight without full armor on.

Father God,

We need YOU. Times are becoming more and more trying every single day. When the enemy strikes against us, we must take note that YOU have something for us around the corner or he wouldn’t need to attack. Help us to arise from slumber. We were never meant to walk through this life alone. Thank you for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Without them, I’d already be on my death bed. Thank You, God, for working through us. May we listen more and more to You. More of You and less of us.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Brothers and sisters reading this..please continue to pray for me. The enemy is not pleased with my posts and fights against me more and more each time I post. I will not stop praising my God who is bigger and mightier than any flaming dart the enemy throws my way. However, I cannot press unto the Lord in and of my own strength alone. Continue to pray for me. And May we each continue to show the world how great and full of love our God truly is. I’ve screwed up so much and yet…God’s arms are open wide. ❤️

Thank you brothers and sisters for the above encouragements at the end of 2018. May they encourage you too. ^

Warriors… Pray Without Ceasing!

Where do I even begin? After that last blog I typed, the devil got mad and hit me full force. I turned away from two different temptations that have always stumbled me in the past. Well actually 3 in a way, but I’m not going into detail here.

The past couple of days, the enemy has been throwing fiery darts at me with my darkest fantasies in front of me. Just as the devil offered Jesus the world if He would turn to him…that’s basically the same level of temptation I’ve been facing.

Let me say this clearly to the person in the back…the enemy WILL mess with your emotions. Feelings are fleeting. He can cause you to feel good for a moment…but I promise you those feelings are not from God if what you’re feeling good about isn’t biblical. You will end up on your face.

The enemy will also cause you to feel so far from God that he will make you think praying won’t get you anywhere…he’s LIEING. PRAY PRAY PRAY!! Like your life depends on it! If you aren’t in a battle…PRAY ANYWAY! If you pray before the battle, you will be prepared. Prayer will cause the devil to tremble. Don’t allow him to cause you to think there is no power in prayer. There is so much power in prayer.

God offers you a joy that is lasting…a peace that no man can steal from you.

Brother and sister…I don’t care if the devil is offering you the world. The world will not be around forever. It’s not worth it. Those feelings are not real.

God offers so much more. When you accept His gift of grace through Jesus Christ and the resurrection… You become a child of the King of Kings. The Holy Spirit lives within you. You have direct access to speak with the Creator of the universe day and night. You can live out your fullest potential through Jesus. You are secured in eternity.

Pray for me anyone reading this that I will press into my relationship with Jesus. That’s what I need most right now during the battle.

I’ve been separating from the world…but the pull is too strong if I don’t begin to really separate myself UNTO Jesus.

We may fail, but God is good…all the time.

Trust God. He is the only one who will never fail.

Distraction or Simply Stubborn

Right before all the family was together for Christmas, while I was driving, I looked up and saw this on the car in front of me.

  • Flatline–The Cross–Heartbeat
  • “Ok, but first pray”
  • A Cross with arrows all over it

The first sticker was a simple reminder of where I was and WHO brought me to life again. I was completely dead in sin to the point of almost taking my own life (more than once), but Jesus!!! Jesus swept me off of my feet through His forgiveness and unconditional love. Praise Jesus that I finally flushed away all of my past psych meds about a week ago. When I first was officially off of them I held onto them just in case…just in case I needed a way out…

Let me just tell y’all right now. Praise Jesus!!! Those tight chains that once had me bound to suicidal ideation have been broken. They were broken at Mercy Multiplied. And yet, I held onto those pills. Just like any addict might hold onto a piece of their kryptonite…because you know…
just in case...
But Jesus. I haven’t told anyone that I just now did that. Anyone reading this… other than Jesus, YOU are the first to know.
Let me tell you friends, the enemy didn’t like that. He doesn’t like it when you take any kind of step towards the Lord and God’s will for your life.
He threw flaming arrows at me through an ex. Bringing up my past. Bringing up the time in my life right before I found hope. A time where I was in rebellion and against God. To most of those around me I probably just seemed off, but I was running away from God and intentionally towards death. Those emotions, memories, and thoughts were being thrown at me. The enemy threw lies towards me,
You will be alone if you do not just settle.
Follow those feelings you’re feeling right now. Trust them. Not anything or anyone else.
Let me tell you, brother and sister, the enemy can and will cause you to feel things. Sometimes those feelings even feel good. Remember, he disguises himself as an angel of light. Whatever he offers is counterfeit to the real thing. He may offer a feeling of happiness, but it is fleeting. It is never lasting with him. He doesn’t give out any lifetime warranties. You may be able to replace you’re generic electronics that die with a lifetime warranty, but once you die…you die. Don’t fall for his gimmicks. You, my friend, are a child of the most HIGH! You are cherished and LOVED! I don’t care how long you’ve been running in the wrong direction. God is waiting with arms open wide!!
But Jesus.
The second sticker is a simple reminder that I don’t always know the right direction to take. If I follow my own feelings, I will fail. I need to take a step back and pray. I received the most wonderful gift from one of my brothers this Christmas. A cross carved from an olive tree with The Lord’s Prayer on it to not lead us into temptation. I nailed it up on my wall quickly because it’s exactly what I need to remember. On my own, I am not strong. I will fall. Through prayer and the strength of Jesus, I will make it through any flaming arrows thrown at me. I must not lean on my own understanding, but on God.
Last, but not least, a cross with arrows all over it. A simple reminder that Jesus is the only way. Through Jesus, I will come out on the other side. Just like I have the victory over suicide through Jesus Christ. Praise Jesus! I am alive and breathing because of Jesus and Jesus alone! Forgive me if I ask you to come to church with me brother or sister…I just want YOU to experience the love…oh sweet love…the power of the cross…and Jesus through His body of believers all around. The church is flawed, but Jesus…He is the golden glue…the light…the love that outpours…the strength…I will not back down on how GOOD Jesus is. Don’t be offended by my invite. I just want to share the hope, love, light, and life I’ve found. Look past the flaws, and look towards the Jesus in the midst. I promise, you won’t regret it.
My heart is still beating because of Jesus and His flaw-filled Church. I’m not perfect, but my God is. ❤️

“O Come to the Altar” by Elevation Church

“Are you hurting and broken within?
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin?
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself
Do you thirst for a drink from the well?
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Leave behind your regrets and mistakes
Come today there’s no reason to wait
Jesus is calling
Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy
From the ashes a new life is born
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Oh what a savior
Isn’t He wonderful?
Sing hallelujah, Christ is risen
Bow down before Him
For He is Lord of all
Sing Hallelujah, Christ is risen

Oh what a savior
Isn’t He wonderful?
Sing hallelujah, Christ is risen
Bow down before Him
For He is Lord of all
Sing Hallelujah, Christ is risen

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Bear your cross as you wait for the crown
Tell the world of the treasure you found.”