As Christians, one of the most difficult things to do (at least I know it is for me) is to reach out exposing an area you’re struggling in. Pictured above is from my early college years one of the first times I was at rock bottom. I remember that college ministry night like it was yesterday. For some reason I had chosen to sit in the very front row. Which I’m thankful for, because I was so broken that when they called people to the altar to pray…I couldn’t muster the strength to get up. Instead I distinctly remember putting my head down and gently rocking slightly back and forth while whispering over and over, “I need You, Jesus”. God responded in a way I will never forget. Sisters in Christ began to surround me one by one and prayed fervently over me. Taken aback by God’s love through the body of Christ-His Church-I pressed into His presence in that humbling moment. Little did I know we were being filmed so God could gently remind me of this time any time I would forget.
This picture ended up stuffed into a book, not completely forgotten about, but the enemy would soon fester up a bitterness within me towards this Church…
However, that’s not what this blog entry is about at all.
This entry may not take a few minutes to read, but it will be worth it. ❤️
This entry is about struggle. Secrets. Addictions. It is also a cry out for those running…to stop running. The Church is full of people with flaws. You are a piece of that body. You have a purpose.
Do we talk behind the back of brothers and sisters if we catch them in secret sins? No!
Let us instead expose our own secret sins-expose then into the light with one another so that we may be healed…so that we may be changed.
Stop running from flawed brothers and sisters…more importantly stop running from yourself and the mission God has for Your life.
You cannot change what you have already given into…but you can accept that it happened. And you can reach out and expose it so that you can change.
The past couple of weeks I’ve been running. I’ve been like Jonah afraid of the calling God has on my life. Instead of listening to God I tried opening a door that He wouldn’t allow opened. I wanted to reach out to a certain leader at church but He consistently kept closing the door. Discouraged and beaten down I honestly started to give up. My world started to get darker and darker. I had no motivation to help my mom with simple house chores and it just caused me to get irritable and snap easily at anything said to me.
I asked for prayer that a door would be opened and it just never opened…I finally stepped back and asked God where He was leading at a Bible study. I felt a nudge about another person to reach out to–she will be referred to as “Zealous“. At first more discouragement came when it was piped up that I needed prayer-which I desperately did but I knew it was meant in a different context about financial matters. I just responded in question then distraction invaded the room and the prayer thing was forgotten about-so it seemed. The enemy flooded my mind with lies- “You’re all alone.” “None of Your new friends are here.” “You always get left behind.” “It’s just like always.” “You don’t matter.” “Run.” “Just leave this place.” “They won’t even notice if you walk out.” “You’re gonna cry…you don’t want them to think you’re that desperate or weak do you?”
Let me tell you…it took every ounce of my being to stay glued to my seat and not just walk out. Though I was super awkwardly just sitting there, I knew I couldn’t move or I would give into his lies.
Soon, “Zealous” came over and asked me about my financial situation regarding college. I caught her up while in the back of my mind I felt a gentle ushering to reach out to her past the surface stuff. I shoved it to the side listening to the lies of the enemy, “She doesn’t care about your emotional well being or any of that deep stuff.”
Before leaving, the comment was made that she wanted to connect with people but she could only connect with so many-that others would need to connect too. I knew I had to say something and the Holy Spirit gave me the courage to pipe up and ask if I could be within that small circle.
Excitedly, she said yes! And doors began to open suddenly.
The very next day actually.
Work was put on hold for the next day and I suddenly had a ton of free time.
The Holy Spirit reminded me of where God was leading so I reached out. To be honest, I stubbornly reached out to the other person I thought would be better first… well that door stayed closed. So I finally listened to God. I asked “Zealous” if I could come over finally reaching out where God was leading the entire time. Doors were opened wide and she was free.
Thank You, Jesus.
I honestly probably talked her ear off that night. Sorry! I had held everything in for awhile, not letting anyone truly in from this new church. Being hurt so much in the past, it took everything for me to open up to “Zealous“, but I did. I don’t regret it at all.
The reason I’m referring to her as “Zealous” is because of her fiery passion for not only God, her neighborhood, her town, the church, but also for my college town. God’s calling me to go back there and share my testimony for Him to change lives, but I’m like Jonah and keep running. I need some more Fervent passion in my life for what God is calling.
One huge thing for me is prayer.
I’ve asked for prayer so much when struggling and most of the time get a text response of, “I’m praying.” And if in person, “I will pray.”
Well this time the Holy Spirit was evidently present in our conversation. “Zealous” and I ended up praying over one another right then and there. I could sense the presence of God as we prayed for one another. I also couldn’t help but be reminded of that one night in college at church. One thing I remember “Zealous” praying over me is that I would have a renewed fear of the Lord. I’ve been meditating on that a lot since.
Then I read this verse above today. Let it be such an encouragement to you reading this blog. Let us not hide in secrecy, but expose the sins and struggles in our life. Let us be filled with the Holy Spirit following His leading in our life and not our flesh. Let us sing praises over our lives before our breakthroughs declaring God has already won the victory through Jesus Christ! Let us give thanks daily and submit to one another in love.
I read this verse aloud every single day.
Through Jesus Christ we have the victory over any sin, addiction, or struggle. Don’t give it power by keeping it in the dark. Expose it brothers and sisters. Then let us pray for one another. By Jesus, we have the victory!!!
If you have a prayer request in response to this blog, please reach out. I’m personally challenging myself to pray right away if you reach out to me. Willing to call or meet up too. Let us love one another as Christ loves us. ❤️
P.S. Thank you “Zealous” for listening and praying with me. I cannot wait to see what God has planned around the corner.